Remember my post from last week? The one with The Wedding and the Crazy-Whacked-Out-Children? In case you missed it, go here.
After all I went through, I'm going to do it again. I have another wedding to go to tonight. Husband isn't feeling well so he's out of commission...that means I'm facing off against the kids again.
Even though Tank is keeping his misbehavin' behind at home...even though I'll have at least some help this go round (my parents will be there in case of meltdown #2)...even though I'm taking Princess and last time she did great...I just can't shake the feeling that things are going to be crazy again.
After much introspection and research (thanks to google) I've realized what I'm suffering from is a common condition among mothers called PTCCD--Post Traumatic Crazy-Child Disorder.
If you're a mother, you might have it. It's a very serious condition, not to be taken lightly. Signs of PTCCD are: Migraines, stomach ulcers, twitches over one or both eyes that lasts longer than one day, leg cramps from chasing unruly children, flagrant screaming at children that may or may not be yours, insomnia, bags under the eyes, dark purple veins bulging from forehead, and one or more days spent in sweat pants with holes in the knees and spit-up or dried food on the shirt.
Luckily, the condition is curable. When your children turn eighteen it miraculously disappears. (Sadly, the bags under the eyes remain.)
Could this be you? If so, we should seek treatment together. Groups gather regularly (much like AA meetings) to help mothers suffering from PTCCD...they're called Mother's Groups or Mother's Clubs. Clever name to hide the true meaning of what they really are: PTCCD Recovery Groups.
I'm going to look for one in my area.