Thursday, December 31, 2009

Freezing Cold and Ants and I Chew Soul

Just in case you didn't get a chance to head over to

And another if you want to read the subtitiles,

End of the year

So this is it. New Years Eve. The day people put their bad decisions behind them and start over.

But is it really any different?

The sun will set tonight a few minutes earlier than last, but that's been happening since December 22nd. The sun will rise "on time" tomorrow morning. Calendars will change to read 2010 instead of 2009. Stores will open (mostly). People will nurture hangovers from drinking the night away (although I won't be one of them).

Then what is the big change? And why does it feel like I'm standing on a precipice, looking down on the next year and what's to come?

I think I know. I think it's the feeling inside that we're cleansed from the year. That because the calendar changes and reads something different, something inside us can change and feel different too. I suppose everyone's in need of a new start.

For myself, I want the new year to bring requests to read my manuscript instead of rejections. I've received 13 rejections so far, and only 1 request. I screamed like a 5 year old girl eating ice cream for the first time when I got the request. Really.

I'd also like to drop 20 pounds, hit the gym daily, not stress so much about the little things in life that really do seem like big things at the time...but who wouldn't. Right? Oh, and I wouldn't mind landing an agent who believes in my work like I do. One who will see my dedication, my work ethic and KNOW I could do this for the rest of my life. Yeah. That would be cool too.

Happy New Year to you. I hope your resolutions hold strong and you get the "cleansing" you're searching for.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Friday, December 11, 2009

Take a trip with me

That's right. Let's go for a drive up to the mountains. Escape the stress of everyday life and breathe in alongside me.
We're heading up to Kirkwood via Hwy 88. If you squint, you can see snow up on those hills in the distance. This was one hell of a storm, dumping white on hills that probably have never seen snow. We're talking as low as 2000 ft.
We're seeing snow sprinkling the ground now and it's getting colder. 30 degrees to be exact. Can't wait to see what 8000 ft is like...

The scenery is breathtaking. The air is crisp. Ice is on the road, so be careful and drive slow. Good thing we have four wheel drive. We should be safe. 4000 ft is looking pretty drenched.

We're getting close now. Only about an hour away from empty slopes and air so cold it stings your lungs. Snow covering the ground is littered with glitter-like frost. The ground sparkles all around.

The roads are dangerously icy. We were just pulled over by CHP for going 48 in a 25. Did you know that when chains are required the speed limit drops to 25? Always? I didn't. We plead innocent and are on our way with a stiff warning. Thank you for working hard to keep the roads safe, Officer! No one is on the roads up here. It's around 7000 ft elevation and the air is thin. Good thing our windows are rolled up. It's too freaking cold to even test the wind chill. It's damn cold. I believe it.

We're here! And here I am! If I look freezing, it's because it's now 10 degrees and I'm on top of the world, where the wind gusts are unforgiving, but the views are incredible.

See what I mean? Breathtaking, isn't it?
After a few runs, we're heading home to a warm cup of coffee and a cozy blanket. Thanks for coming with me!

Good Dreams

I had a great dream last night. Must have been the monster storm rolling through California that lulled my logical mind into deep slumber.

In my dream, I got my Golden Heart Contest score sheets back. I don't know a lick about the judging process, or how I'll receive my scores. But in my dream the sheets came by mail in the form of about 20 small papers with random pencil scratchings. Yeah, I guess in my sleep I teleport back to the 1950's.

Anyway, I flip through the sheets and see my manuscript received a solid 50 across the board with all judges. I didn't win the contest, but I definitely finaled. I was ecstatic. So ecstatic in fact that I just kept flipping through the scoresheets over and over again to make sure my eyes weren't deceiving me.

When I woke up, I was a little disappointed that my hands were clutching the pillows instead of small scraps of paper with an awesome score of 50 printed on all of them.

And I have to wait until March 31st for my scores? Bummer. Looks like this is the first of many anxiety dreams.

Thursday, December 10, 2009


This week I took to the hills to do some snowboarding. I haven't been in years and have been dying to go back. My knee injury (tearing my miniscus not once, but twice) has proven to be a hinderance in everything from daily walking to strenuous working out. I was a little scared I'd get to the slopes and have to call it a day early because of pain. Stupid pain anyway. I'm over it.

I took some advil...okay, lots of advil. And I packed a book in my backpack just in case. Lover Eternal by J.R. Ward. (Have you read the series? No? You should. They're great.) I also packed more advil, my knee brace and loads of water in case I got stuck on the mountain and had to wait for ski patrol to help me down. You could get thirsty up there, you know.

Anyway, I went up on the medium run once. And came down cautiously on my heel edge only. I am a master at the falling leaf. You beginners know what I'm talking about.

Then on my second run, I went for it. Back toward base, I turned to face the mountain and remembered what it was like to breathe that fresh mountain air and be free.

guy snowboarding

The slopes were empty. The 10 degree weather might have had something to do with that. I guess we were the only crazy ones to brave the freeze.

My knee didn't twinge at all. And no ski patrol had to be called. But the J.R. Ward stayed in my backpack. That is a tragedy all its own.

Pictures are coming soon. I promise.