End of the year

So this is it. New Years Eve. The day people put their bad decisions behind them and start over.

But is it really any different?

The sun will set tonight a few minutes earlier than last, but that's been happening since December 22nd. The sun will rise "on time" tomorrow morning. Calendars will change to read 2010 instead of 2009. Stores will open (mostly). People will nurture hangovers from drinking the night away (although I won't be one of them).

Then what is the big change? And why does it feel like I'm standing on a precipice, looking down on the next year and what's to come?

I think I know. I think it's the feeling inside that we're cleansed from the year. That because the calendar changes and reads something different, something inside us can change and feel different too. I suppose everyone's in need of a new start.

For myself, I want the new year to bring requests to read my manuscript instead of rejections. I've received 13 rejections so far, and only 1 request. I screamed like a 5 year old girl eating ice cream for the first time when I got the request. Really.

I'd also like to drop 20 pounds, hit the gym daily, not stress so much about the little things in life that really do seem like big things at the time...but who wouldn't. Right? Oh, and I wouldn't mind landing an agent who believes in my work like I do. One who will see my dedication, my work ethic and KNOW I could do this for the rest of my life. Yeah. That would be cool too.

Happy New Year to you. I hope your resolutions hold strong and you get the "cleansing" you're searching for.