What do men really want?

After Friday night's football game I know the answer to this simple question.

Football and boobs. Large ones, apparently. Allow me to elaborate on my epiphany.

I was at a high school football game watching my alma-mater smash another local team. (Our team won 44-0 by the way. Rah!) And the team was pumped! Lights were bright, cheerleaders were peppy, the coaches were pacing the lines like wild animals. It was a fantastic night.

And I realized something. Freud discovered that people use defense mechanisms to protect their ego's from harm. Sublimation was one of these defense mechanisms and is defined as using aggression in a socially acceptable format. (And I'm summing up his whole theory here, so don't harp on the details.) And men, otherwise known as testosterone-raging-ego-maniacs, need and love football so they can release these tensions in a positive, acceptable way. I get it.

But as I was leaving I overheard a conversation by two high school girls. I've changed names to protect identities. ;) Let's listen in...

Girl 1: "He TOTALLY like you Gretchen."
Girl 2: "He does not. Forget it."
Girl 1: "No, he does. He talked to you every single day this month, but he only answered my texts once. He TOTALLY likes you!"
Girl 2: "Sarah, I have big boobs. That's why he likes me." And she rolls her eyes.

I love Girl 2. Love her to death. She's all of sixteen years old and gets men. She is the yoda and the other girl is her grasshopper.

Football and boobs.


Need I write more?